Tuesday, 25 December 2007
Joke: A Puppy's Twelve Days of Christmas
A Puppy's Twelve Days of Christmas
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Monday, 24 December 2007
Sunday, 23 December 2007
Joke: Holiday Etiquette for Dogs
Holiday Etiquette for Dogs
| 1. Be especially patient with your humans during this time. They may appear to be more stressed-out than usual and they will appreciate long comforting dog leans. 2. They may come home with large bags of things they call gifts. Do not assume that all the gifts are yours. 3. Be tolerant if your humans put decorations on you. They seem to get some special kind of pleasure out of seeing how you look with fake antlers. 4. They may bring a large tree into the house and set it up in a prominent place and cover it with lights and decorations. Bizarre as this may seem to you, it is an important ritual for your humans, so there are some things you need to know:
5. Your humans may occasionally invite lots of strangers to come visit during this season. These parties can be lots of fun, but they also call for some discretion on your part:
6. Likewise, your humans may take you visiting. Here your manners will also be important:
7. A big man with a white beard and a very loud laugh may emerge from your fireplace in the middle of the night. DON'T BITE HIM!! |
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Saturday, 22 December 2007
Joke: Christmas Turkey
The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."
Friday, 21 December 2007
Thursday, 20 December 2007
Wednesday, 19 December 2007
Santa's helpers: Pets dressed for Christmas
Cats' Top Ten Christmas Songs
9. Have Yourself a Furry Little Christmas
8. Joy to the Curled
7. I Saw Mommy Hiss at Santa Claus
6. The First Meow
5. Oh, Come All Ye Fishful
4. Silent Mice
3. Fluffy, the Snowman
2. Jingle Balls
1. Wreck the Halls!
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Tuesday, 18 December 2007
Santa Pets
Cats in Hats for Christmas
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Monday, 17 December 2007
The Twelve Days of Kissmouse
(I think you know the tune!)
"Twelve Abbys jumping"
"Eleven Bengals singing"
"Ten Studs a Howling!"
"Nine Birmans dancing"
"Eight Persians purring"
"Seven Vans a swimming"
"Six Manx a prancing"
"Five - Calling - Queens....."
"Four Pixiebobs"
"Three Orientals"
"Two Singapuras"
"And a Maine Coon in a Kissmouse Tree"
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Sunday, 16 December 2007
Saturday, 15 December 2007
Joke: A Dog's Christmas Promises
A Dog's Christmas Promises
| Christmas is for humans, and I will not ruin the surprises by opening all their presents. Christmas light bulbs, Christmas ornaments, Christmas stockings, and tinsel from the Christmas tree are not food. I am the alpha dog, therefore I do not need to protect my new Christmas rawhide from the omega dog by taking it outside to eat when the wind chill is -10 F. I will not demolish the Christmas tree and drag the string of lights out into the backyard through the doggy door. I will not dive into the Christmas tree to get the candy canes (which I will eat -- paper and all). I will not eat my Christmas doggie treats until after they're out of the stocking! I will not even THINK about going underneath the Christmas tree and piddling on the dining room rug. I will not get into a fight with the bigger dog next door, making my human have to call the vet's at Christmas. I will not get tangled up in the Christmas tree lights and pull the tree down while trying to get at a cat through the conservatory window. I will not pee on Grandma's Christmas presents that are under her tree as soon as we enter her house. I will not pee on the Christmas tree. I will not steal the neighbor's Christmas light bulbs. The bowl underneath the Christmas tree is not a dog dish. I will not drink from it. It will make me sick. |
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Thursday, 13 December 2007
Wednesday, 12 December 2007
Saturday, 8 December 2007
Joke: A Cat's Christmas
A Cat's Christmas
| 'Twas the night before Christmas 'Cuz the cat had pounced on him Kitty thought he heard sleigh bells, "Must be Santa" thought Kitty Indeed it was ol' Santa, "Wow, the best Christmas ever!" |
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