How can you tell when an elephant has been in your refrigerator?
Look for elephant tracks in the butter.
How do you know if there is an elephant under your bed?
Your nose is touching the ceiling.
How do you make an elephant float?
Add two scoops of ice cream and a can of root beer to one elephant.
How do you shoot a blue elephant?
With a blue elephant gun, of course.
How do you shoot a red elephant?
No, not with a red elephant gun. You strangle him until he turns blue, and then shoot him with a blue elephant gun.
How do you shoot a green elephant?
Tell him a dirty joke so he turns red, strangle him until he turns blue, and then shoot him with a blue elephant gun.
How do you shoot a yellow elephant?
Don’t be silly, there’s no such thing as a yellow elephant!
How do you stop an elephant from charging?
Take away his credit card.
How you get down from an elephant?
You don't, you get down from ducks.
If you see an elephant in your car, what time is it?
Time to get a new car!
What did the elephant say to the naked man?
"How can you breathe through that?"
What did the elephant say to the naked man?
"It's cute, but can you pick up peanuts with it?"
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